no regrets..

You know love, till date one thing that I haven’t been able to understand is the thing why people regret. See tris, once in a while each n every one of us regret a part of past, be it a situation, a choice or even a person. But we regret nevertheless and one thing that I don’t comprehend in all this is as to why… Why do we end up regretting something that in a part has made us n our history? See the basic fact is that we do everything n anything only when we feel it’s our ‘right’. So how come we end up regretting something that once had justified our sense of right n wrong. How come our very own right turns around so much that the only thing that’s left with us is plain regret? And you know the thing about regret is that it makes everything that touches it wrong, so utterly wrong that even thinnest ray of right isn’t visible through it… We uselessly ponder upon things that have passed by, been lived through and we end up judging every single second of it. And not surprisingly more times than not, we don’t come out content with our own analysis… I always feel that life has a very weird way of unfolding. See we never like what it offers us at any particular junction, still we make do n move on with the best of our capabilities n acceptance and with time we resent the very same choices n decisions that were taken by us then. Somehow be it moving on or staying stuck at some or other phase of our lives, we aren’t really happy with either choice. Anyway we go on n one coming day we regret making that particular choice. But if we look at this mess from another angle, it might be that we aren’t regretting the thing chosen but instead are feeling bad about the one not chosen. Still all I hope at this instant is that I somehow feel anything but regret that one day when I stop n look back on my life… In fact it’s my wish n prayer for everyone who is living his/her life in the best possible way at this particular moment… that they don’t bump into regret while travelling the bumpy lanes of their past… Ahem…

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timing milieu..

No one can go back n start all over again afresh, but anyone can start from now n make a new ending… At times I feel this really should be the only concern to each one of us… but contrary to this, none ever think of starting afresh whenever anyone of us have a setback… all we can concentrate on at the junction is why the bloody hell now, how come with me, what went wrong and most promptly n prominently my fucking luck. Quite ironically it’s almost the same course for everyone despite the disparities in their situations… Come to think of it how more easier life could have been if we had a tendency to stop only to think of newer ways so as to move ahead than to curse n dug out the reasons as to why we stopped… but then maybe this is what exactly we are all about, humans n their life. Though even this isn’t bad deal if one thinks about it hard, for at times one need to know the past as well, for there too lays a part of us that is never coming back. But yes always sticking by one’s past n almost camping there is not the real deal. For no matter whether we do it willingly or unwillingly we move on, just coz we have to n always will… And despite us not wanting or needing them, newer paths n journeys keep adding themselves to our ultimate journey of finding our own selves… and frankly it’s better for us to look forward into the dreams of our future to reach the end eventually, though in process also not forgetting to turn back once in a while n peer into the shadows of our past as well, ever… for our being is like a clock, where movement is only possible with time… our past being the seconds' hand moving the present of minute hand which always has n will move our future in hours' hand. For its past of man, that makes him the way he is at present n only present him has the power to sculpt the future… And eventually all one ever need is do, in order reach wherever (s)he ever wanted n needed to, is to have legs steadily moving in present with eyes always looking forward into the future with past being carried in the heart n mind always…

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forgiving, forgetting..

You know tris people feel that it’s not easy to forgive n forget… But they don’t realize just how wrong they are, for this is not what’s difficult… difficult is keeping that throbbing of hurt or fire of revenge or clouds of resentment alive in us… And you know what tris, all this harms the people holding them much more than to the person for whom they actually are… these are like burning coals or sharp shards of glass that one is holding to throw at someone they want to avenge against. And it’s not difficult to realize that by the time one really throws them, they have already burnt or slashed one’s very own hands… and despite avenging ourselves, we haven’t been able to subdue our pain instead we have actually catapulted it n in process have added few more scars as well… See tris am not saying that one should stop feeling hurt or betrayed, for then all we will be is cold-blooded stone or highest of saints. And none is really a way to live, really live… You know feel everything, feel the pain when it’s there, the hurt when it happens or the anger when it ignites, but never hold unto them… For like everything else they too need to flow ahead in the river of our lives. And even holding unto sometime is not a bad deal, for at the core it’s about ones pride n at times all one have is his/her pride. At times it is the only thing that’s keeping one alive, standing n fighting… But yes one should use it as a weapon and not become one in its hands. It’s good to have its support to lean on, but not to do by it… And you know what, even forgiving n forgetting will hurt n pain you a little for in letting go of all that hurt, anger, resentment we are letting go of a part of our own life… but keeping them afresh in ourselves hurts much much more n always will… It’s far better to have a little of it for while than to have it forever, always right there. Though it’s not as easy as it’s said to be, forgiving n forgetting is still not possible, all one needs to know n more importantly believe that I was strong enough to take that hurt, have been stronger to live with it but am strongest enough to let go of it all n always will be no matter what, where, why, when or how…

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taking the fall..

In life, for once do fall in love… be it with an idea, a hope, a choice, an ambition, a wish, a thing, a person or even a feeling… but do fall, for more than anything that would be the reason for waking up every single day with a smile… And that reason is more precious than anything one will be accumulate over the course of one’s life… You know tris having a new smile each day as ours is a blessing beyond words… And even greater is being the reason behind this blessing. You know smile is among few of nature’s treasure that is precious in any currency… One which makes everyone feel worthy of everything n anything. Smile has a really potent power… You know just a few days back, read this joke that, it not the girl turning back that drives the boy crazy, instead it when she turns back n 'smile' that the madness begins…J Well that’s the power of smile. J J J And you know one can’t even imagine the range it has; at one turn it can be hearty, at other wary, it can be watery or it can be sarcastic as well… It’s kind of that smile has moods of its own. And you know smile is that one thing, which we can give even to our enemy without backing out or appearing weak. And what more in addition to this marvelous gift, falling in love always leave one feeling cherished, beautiful n above anything worthy… One thing that all of us question all our lives, being in love gives us that evasive answer as well, that ‘yes’ we are worthy… worthy of this person, answer, idea or just about anything, but yes worthy we are. And that my love is way beyond anything any day. Oh! tris how I wish each one of us is able to have this insight to and feel this magic of love among many other… that we have the power to weave and do so for sure when given a chance with true heart-clear mind-selfless soul… And what more one should play this gamble in one’s life n take the fall, if only once, for without any doubts whatsoever it will always be worth every damn bit of it, today, tomorrow, forever…

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one's time..

You know love its quite strange how in a span of mere twenty four hours so many things go on, for that matter of fact even a single moment seems too darn long… but you know the thing is that all day long we do, think, plan, hope, wish even without realizing for a moment how much exactly is happening… and in the same flow we keep moving forth… and then when one day we pause to take a breather we see n exclaim how everything has changed… And you know it’s quite difficult for our own self to realize that the person staring at us in the mirror is no one else but our own self… but what’s harder is to accept that it’s actually us only… You know it’s in moments like this that I feel an urge, a craving, a need… never to forget to stop very once in a while n smell the roses, to a have a breather n take in the sun-rise, to shrug off all my clothes n take a long dip in the sea, to get muddy n kick up some deep puddles, to just stop thinking n just simply be… For nothing is really worth it, if one can’t identity one’s own self… Granted at times we are ignorant of others in our life but the day we stop connecting with ourselves, that day everything is simply wasted, nothing more nothing less… You know it’s not like as many think, life doesn’t change just out of the blue; in reality it has been changing an inch regularly only we were clueless about it for we were way to busy with our ‘life’ to actually observe where to it was heading… And that’s the only reason that when we finally catch up n open our eyes we feel that everything has changed overnight… But tris how exactly we can be so unconcerned regarding something that’s breathing life every moment within us, for us, how… Can’t we start investing sometime in our selves also… am not talking about hours and hours at length, just a few minutes every now n then… with our own selves, with those who make a part of ourselves… with everything n anything that is us, has been us n will be us.. a smallest investment, but with highest of commitment… coz it doesn’t do good to forget that if one can’t find for one own self than one can’t really do justice towards others as well…

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strongest of all..

Hey tris, tell me which is the strongest emotion of them all??? Don’t know how far my calculations are correct, but personally I feel its “NEED.” You know knowingly unknowingly “need” is the underlying current of every other flow of our life, be it any action, reaction or emotion… See, let’s take an example, what is love, though technically it’s almost impossible to define love and at the same time truth of love is different for each n every one of us and none is wrong either. But speaking in broad terms, one thought, one view that is common to all when love is the question is that, love is that one need to be needed, wanted, cherished… Somehow it seems as if “need” is one of those basic components of our inherent composition n nature n very being. We want something, we work hard; but when we need something, we work harder, desperately hardest of our abilities. We need n we be... In fact more than anything else it’s need(s) that make us what we were, are n will be... Needs are always there, have been for ages n will be for many more lifetimes. And you know what each fulfilled need gives us that solace n contentment that we weren’t even aware of searching. What more needs so unlike wants don’t add another leg to our journey of life, instead one need fulfilled gives way to the next need, slowly n steadily moving towards the end of the list. While wants in their own peculiar way keep adding miles to the way, see what am trying to convey is that one want fulfilled usually gives way to the next level of the very same want, adding another level to clear to reach the next want, if possible. Needs on their part add a restlessness n stubbornness to get over with for they have desperation attached with them n in this quest to finish, they take life along... But you know when exactly things get messed up, the day we start pushing our wants way before our needs... See quite frankly humans can be happy n content for most part of their existence merely by realising the simplest fact that needs always get fulfilled, each one of us get what we need, granted sometimes is sooner n at others later. But needs reach completion, they have their conclusion already locked inside them, all we need is to peal a layer after another n reach it; never forgetting that at times it would be too easy while at others a bit too hard... You know quite ironically alike habits, we make needs what they are n needs make us what we are...

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aching pleasure..

About this one, am really not sure that today is the right time to let these utterances out, but somehow am just helpless and can't keep them locked inside anymore...

 

Don’t precisely know when this thought sprouted in my silly mind, but sprout it did nevertheless and alike its predecessors it refused to oblige the poor me n continued bugging me till the previous moment. And in the light of the fact that I’m utterly useless in shrugging off the musings of my ever chirping mind here I’m, yet again giving in... Don’t know tris, when will I actually learn to say a NO n more importantly in a voice that convey that I mean it, loud n clear, gawd...

The bug of the hour is another peculiar thought, that it’s pretty strange about love that no matter for how long or short you have it in your life-it’s always too precious n darn too painful... it’s kind of a strange cycle of sorts, in early days it’s too precious to let go without taking your chances at it n too painful to believe too deep in one glance... then it becomes too precious for now you are someone’s very life n too painful because that someone too is your life... and then towards the end its too precious to just let go for once n all n still too painful to continue holding on for there isn’t much left but a fading shadow...

You know love, love is both precious n painful in its arrival, departure n the very existence... and this just doesn’t seem to make any sense, no matter from which angle you try n see it. See till the time you are in love or more precisely you have this feeling of being in love, nothing in this whole big world can mar you happiness... everything turns beautiful... life is just perfect... And what more you are on cloud nine, in fact beyond that when your love is reciprocated... all that stops you from flying away is lack of wings... you need nothing more from the world n your life... And as the magic seeps out, so does your life... in that one moment when you feeling acknowledge that love has left you, the whole world seems to cave into you... and all you want is nothing but roll over n be...

You know it’s not strange that love is edgy, for so are all other of our feelings. But what sets love apart is that it not just takes you to the very edge of the cliff, it pushes you over that cliff, where either you fly or you die... And you know what’s equally strange is the way we piece by piece pick up our broken heart, at times even our soul and start our life again with a resolve that we won’t do anything with love again, ever. And then we bump into someone who makes us catch our breath n there we start all over again... Love manages to over-power just about everything n be itself-the magical, mystical being... no matter what, no matter how, no matter when or no matter why...

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