truly mine..

You know love, no matter how bad our life seems… n moreover how lonely you feel yourself to be, there is someone out here who is always there with you… no conditions attached, hardly questioning, rarely probing… but always there nevertheless… And you know what the best thing about this special someone is, that one doesn’t have to look very hard for her/him… (s)he is easiest to find… All you need to do is stand up, go to the mirror n see… (s)he is always there, right there, only for you. No matter who ditches you or cheats you or betrays you, this one person will always be there to gather you back n piece you together for the next raging battle… And you know what’s so special about him/her, that (s)he never gets tired of helping you out, of pushing-pulling you around, of tugging you along, this one being never gives up on you, never. And the only thing that it requires from you in return is faith, in him/her to be there, nothing more, nothing less… Clear, buoyant, willing, absolute faith… And the day we give that, there (s)he is with us, for us, for life, for real. And never will (s)he leave us alone hurting, in pain like others did n will do. You know love that’s the power of 'me' in this mêlée of humanity, which we live in n that’s the reason of never letting go of our trust in ourselves. For no matter what, no one can know us better than us n moreover no one can be there for us n accepting of us for ourselves as selflessly as our own being is… There is no one n never will be, a person more close to us than our own self. Someone very special can share that space time n again, but never can have a forever unlike our own selves… All we need to remember when the whole world seem to be on the other side against us that I’m not alone, can never be, for I always have me…and I'm the luckiest person to ever be to have me…

-neh..

marionette’s mumbles..

Hey love… Why some things are so darn beyond us… Why is that we can’t let go of someone despite the fact that we want it from our very being. And then why we never can hold onto that one whom we desperately want to… How come that Overlord is the who gets to roll the dices every single time… How come our choices need to have a ‘blessing’ to really turn into a reality… Just why things can’t work out the way we want them to… Why our ‘no’ isn’t the final answer… How come we always end up working for the very same thing we have already proclaimed not to do, a thousand n ten times… Huh… How come the story we plan never really matches the one that unfolds with each passing moment… and more strangely how come over time we feel satisfied n content with the way it actually unfolds… We are always told that we have the right to question, seek, shape, mould our lives the way we envision them to b and deep down we truly believe in it as well… but still very rarely our lives end up being the ones we wanted… How come our destiny always gives us the very same answer over n over again, this is all you ever needed. And since fate ends up being the way of our being, then how come we are provided with so many diversions, options n choices, when our pick won’t really make much of the difference… Why aren’t we spared the dejection of making the choice that won’t find a conclusion… n more often than not all we end up collecting is hurt n just more hurt… Just why are we played like puppets, provided with the illusion that we are free to be n can be and yet a millimeter of wrong footing n the strings are pulled hard n fast… Why are we made into these powerfully weak being, who are always assured that they are the masters of their destinies n are encouraged over n over again to do so. And yet when we in the real proximity of that wand which could finally allow us to alter our destiny our way, we are stumbled so hard that everything is shattered into thousand tiny pieces… Just why despite every appearance strings of our own life n its destiny is never in our own two hands… Why…

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naming games..

You know it's quite strange how some things; some people come n be a part of our life n being just coz we have a particular name and then someday those very things n people move out of our life coz of that very name. I know it sounds surreal n twisted, but it's a true observation, nothing fancy just reality… There was this stranger who became a really close friend just coz my momma loved n gave me the name I have… We had a really strange yet a beautiful connection, one that showed me that even without realizing we are connected to many other people in this bedlam called our world. And then one day everything changed, no longer I could be part of his life, no matter how bad we both wanted otherwise, coz I had my name… Now when I look back n think about the strange connection n the time both of us shared I feel tumultuous to the core… for sometimes I feel like laughing my heart out alike a lunatic, while at others I had been unconsciously crying throughout the re-collection, then sometimes I feel simply content for being able to share my life with someone so special even if for a very short time, while still at other moments I feel utterly betrayed… You know at times I doubt that Shakespeare didn't really fathom what exactly he was saying when he uttered; 'what’s in the name…' for there is a hell lot in there…

Our name is just not another string of alphabets; it's our first identification. Our name is what world knows n sees us as, not that that first impression is always a correct one. One’s name might not compliment his or her true colours, but a name does give a shape to that collection of colours that is us, every single time. And you know what another peculiar thing about this name-game, which most of us would have taken into notice if only once in our life, is that our name is that one thing which is essentially ours first n foremost and still it’s that one thing that others use much more than we ourselves ever manage to. And what more, despite sharing our name with may be thousand others, each one of those thousand poojas, rajs, nehas, rahuls are different n unique no matter if the spelling of those names proclaim otherwise… Also it’s quite strange the way a name is whole of their life for some people while for others a complete life is nothing but a name… and you know tris both of these distinctions have a very strange set of emotions attached with them… You know when one’s name is the very life for an another being, it leaves one with a feeling of warmth n even above that of being special and quite conflictingly when one’s whole life is nothing more than a name for another person it hurts like hell, it seriously does… strange na… But then as I always say n feel, pretty much everything that formulates life is strange, so why should names be any different and mind you am seriously not complaining, after all I never do… :D

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waging warriors..

You know what tris, warriors are not that rare a breed as people often think them to be… Granted there are quite tricky to find, but one shouldn’t forget that this is not coz they are hidden n sparse in number instead its coz not many have eyes to spot them. See tris truth is they are as aplenty as the population in this universe or may be even beyond… What I’m trying to say is that each n every living being, not just humans, are warriors… Some are born warriors, others are made n some mold themselves to be, but in the end each n every one of us has a warrior in us… Only it’s that it’s sleeping right inside us n just needs a trigger n reason to wake up n move out… and that one reason can be just about anything, simply anything… one’s own survival or life of someone more valuable than one’s own self or to prove that one is worth it… there can be n number of reasons n there are… You know that’s the way life is, you bring out n nourish 'your warrior' or else you are liable to lose 'your own self' n predictably a very few avoid doing that… But the strangest part is that much fewer people manage to keep it earthed for life n just be the true ones… In fact for most its momentous n nothing beyond that… But maybe that too is enough; after all wearing one’s armour all the times is also not a feasible scenario to be. For one can’t ignore that handling armour requires just about everything on one’s part, time, energy, skill and above that a willingness to continue doing so over time… and that surely can’t get tedious with time if one isn’t really keen enough and seriously not many of us are… For too long ago we were taught about tolerance n its limits and these very limits at times are very wide-spread, not that it’s a bad bad thing if one sits n thinks about it… But yes I still sincerely hope n wish that one day 'most' of us will work n be warriors, the true ones, not just for a moment or two, not just for someone special, not just for ourselves for a frozen time… but instead for always kinds… Ahem ahem ahem…

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killing proximity..

You know love, there are only two things that can exist between people existing n living at really close quarters… its either love or its hate, there is just no other way… There never seems a place for the normal, the mundane there, only one or the other extreme. But why, why there isn’t any mid-way stop, why… And more times than not its hate, in its darkest to the lightest of face… You know I haven't been able to understand as to how people can't occur on amiable terms, if not on good or even great ones. May be that's the way it can be… After all, all of us have our own way of crossing the path of life to reach that end of ultimate peace. You know another reason of sorts can be the fact that we always end up wanting what others have, even when ours is much better. And may be this very jealousy, this void we feel when compared to others is what, that makes us rude, distant n hateful of others… But somewhere there ought to be a solution, for there always is. But what… n where… You know tris, at times I feel it could have been so so much better had we been unable to think, to see, to feel… for these always end one in pain physically, mentally n more importantly emotionally. And somehow with each single step towards hate, we take ten back from love… n somehow it doesn't feel like a fair deal n never will be, no matter what we want ourselves to believe… And you know what, distance really works… for when a person is at a distance where we can see him/her comfortably yet not express; we always find oneself more tolerant, more accepting, more open to believe the good that person might have. And strangely at closer quarters one is completely shut off regarding the possibility of any good whatsoever in the person standing by… there the only things our mind see is how lacking that person is n still he/she has everything that we ever wished for. And not for a single second we stop n think that that person might deserve each n everything he/she possess as his/her… and so do we, we have everything that ours, sooner or later… But then that’s us, the best-est creation of God, the great living organization, the lord, the man… haah…

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