blabbering questions..

Why is that even knowing deep down that all the muck floating around you is untrue, knowing that the ones slandering don’t really know you, knowing who n what exactly you are; we still end up questioning our own selves in such times when someone even if unknowingly happen to point a finger at us... n what more why does it bother us so much what others think, express about us... why are we so concerned about being liked by most if not all... how come others matters so much to us to assure that we are good enough.. which is that force that keeps pushing us in this particular direction... Agreed tris we are social animals n we surely need others to actually complete the definition of ourselves... But still why the bloody hell we end up being so so so dependent on others to do it every time around, how come our own assessment never seem to be just enough. And what more one accusation is what it takes us to start questioning the person we have made of our selves, the efforts that went into, the very faith we have in that person. Why does it happen n it’s not one time occurrence that one forget it n move on... This particular cycles repeats itself over n over again every time anyone expresses tiniest bit of doubt about you, you acts, your views. And you know what this doesn’t stop at just leaving you bothered; instead it goes a step further n leave you questioning your own self. And quite unfortunately in the process it shrinks a part of your persona, which might never learn to stand up for itself every again. What more it doesn’t take much for others to question, doubt or wrong us; but this very act takes away quite much from us n still we let it happen again n again... The question here is why, why we end up being so weak in the light shone by others, why we unable to hold onto our faith n self-belief, why we let others to overwhelm so easy, why the bloody hell the others end up being so important... By goodness it was our own selves that never betrayed n always stood by us, helped us fight very battle that just came up, worked hardest to solve the troubles that just kept knocking, boosted us up whenever we slipped n above anything whispered I’m here when we left all alone in whole big world... Then we betray this very self when some bumbling comes along n suggest that this self is just good enough n what more never will be... why the bloody hell we are so eager to believe that other rather than our own self... how the voice of the outer world is always way too loud than our inner voice... what makes us so unsure of our own selves... when we will stand by our own selves n negate the rest... where is that haven where self will matter the most...

-neh..