circling alone..

You know love sometimes we can't help but feel alone n damn it it's not a good feeling to have.... See it’s not that the person is actually alone in normal sense of speaking instead (s) he is lonely in real sense of feeling... And at that time nothing can push that feeling away, not even our own self... At that one moment even the biggest n rowdiest of crowds can't engulf one in itself n one is left with an endless emptiness n darkness. A place where one can't even feel one's own self n it’s a really really bad place to be. And see it’s not that a person willingly pushes (her) himself in that dark hole, it just pulls one in its core. Mostly it leave one aching n shattered, but at times it gives us a glimpse of the person living within our own self, who has been alone all along just coz we haven't been able to reach (her) him. And it is this unknown that leaves one broken, coz we still have hidden selves from our own eyes. You know it's quite ugly when we know that our own self is craving badly for something too vital for itself n we just can't understand it enough to get it for (her) him... This is what unfortunate is made of when one is unable to help one's own self n even when in desperation one tries to reach out one is simply unable to decide where to turn n seek. One just doesn't have a clue as to which direction exactly should one extend (her) his hands so as to get hold of a person caring enough to help us out. And all this just leaves us right where we started from, alone... But maybe this shouldn't be surprising for life do have a fetish for complete circles; most of it is cyclic n all through remains so... It do tend to come right back from where it started, no matter how soon or how late; but it do reach the very same point n that too every single time. One can't really blame life now can we, after all this is her; remember that old adage, 'what goes around comes around.' That exactly is her n will be, today tomorrow n every other day...

-neh..