hanging on..

Honestly tris don’t know when life will stop being strange, unpredictable and worse uncontrollable. But on second thoughts I don’t think I want to change it over-much for this very feeling of us being powerless in her face makes her what she is. It’s as if this very uncertainty encompassing her is what makes life, beautiful, precious and worth fighting for n living through. But still at times I have this itching feeling time and again that... the thorns in this bed ordered for us by our life seems just too much to bear n wield through. See won’t say that the feeling is not beyond anything when one do manages to find n work a break-through. But even in this light one can’t just ignore the hard-hitting fact that these “break-throughs” aren’t a commonplace occurrence. In fact they are so rare and afar that hope is juts on the verge of dying n in the process threatening to take us along with itself… And I won’t proclaim to be something am not n lie right through my teeth, this feeling that the very next moment you gonna sink and sink hard n deep is scary, too darn scary. And in those moments even against ones will despair manages to win n in process life loses… and seriously nothing can be worse than that… See tris, am not saying that life is unfair or anything, all am trying to do is to see or rather explore yet another aspect of this miracle of life n our own existence therein… All I wish for is that one be stubborn, in fact too stubborn to let go off, no matter how hard the things are or have been n more importantly will be... I don’t really know as to why, but I have always felt n not surprisingly still do n may be forever will that life is way too precious to let go off even for a moment… One might be unable to find a reason good even enough to hang onto at some particular moment of despair, but all of us can surely dig up our memories n pull up the reasons that had kept us going till now. After all if those particular ‘reasons’ have been fair enough to hang onto so far, they can work pretty much for the coming moment as well. Agreed they won’t be as perfect or as good as they once were, but then nothing much is ever perfect in this world… In fact the very fact that you still have a life breathing in you is a reason more than enough to hang on n trust me it always has been n always will be…

-neh..